MP’s debate the ‘make supermarkets even more intolerable for single folk’ Bill

Concerned that they hadn’t had an opportunity to ban something for almost a week, MP’s are today going to have the chance to extend the ‘junk food’ advertising ban to all areas, not just TV. This is bad news, chaps. Consider;

The British Heart Foundation, which supports the bill, said a survey carried out for it suggested almost one-third of parents leave their children at home to avoid rows during the supermarket shopping.

Good. Leave the little spoilt brats at home, sounds good to me.

In a YouGov survey of 900 parents during April, 64% of parents had actively tried to prevent rows, with 29% leaving their children at home.

Again. Sounds sensible.

Twenty-nine percent of parents bribed their children with something other than junk food and 19% avoided the confectionery aisle.

Super. So they either gave them something healthy to eat, or avoided the sweats all together. Jolly good ~ noisy spoilt kids left at home, well behaved kids given carrots, and I get to admire the handsome collection of cakes. In fact, apart from a minority of parents, these people seem to have it under control. No ban needed, then. Wrong.

The charity’s spokeswoman, Betty McBride, said: “Banning junk food ‘pester power’ ammunition from supermarket shelves will make it easier for parents to make healthier food choices for their families.”

Yes, we must think of the children. Oh, won’t someone, please, think of the children.

Look, its quite simple. ‘Pester power’ can be defeated with a tiny, two letter device, known as ‘no’.

‘can I have some sweets?’

‘no’

‘please?’

‘no’

‘whaaaaaaaaaaaaa (etc etc)

‘no’ (repeat until strange wailing noise stops).

See? Simple. Either that, or give them a good beating.